Sardar: Aap kitna padhe ho?
Friend: B.A.
Sardar: kamal karte ho yaar, sirf do word padhe aur woh bhi ulte.
9:55 AM
9:55 AM
A lady calls Sardar for repairing door bell.
Sardar does not turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again,
Sardar replies: I am coming daily from 4 days, I press the
bell, but no one comes out.
9:53 AM
Ek ladka ladki dekhne gaya...
Both are in a room for 10 minutes to talk each other...
Ladki (Darte hue) : Bhaiya aap kitne bhai bahen hain?
Ladka : Abhi tak to 3 the..lekin ab 4 ho gaye.
9:51 AM
A Sardar saw a Beautiful Girl
A Sardar saw a Beautiful Girl,he went and kissed her.
Girl : “STUPID what r u doing?”
Sardar : B.Com final year
9:49 AM
RAM and LSI-man started SEARCHING for the missing C ta all over the forest. They made friendship with
the forest SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR Akshat sorry... SU-greev and his powerful co-processor Ha-NEUMAN. who agreed to help RAM. SU-greev ordered his PROGRAMMERS to use powerful SEARCH techniques learnt in CS130 to FIND the missing C ta. His PROGRAMMERS SEARCHED allaround the INTER-NETworked forests. Many tried to EXCITE the birds and animals not to forget the WEBCRAWLERS (Insects) and tried to INFOSEEK something about C ta. Some of them even shouted YAA-HOO but they all ended up with NO FOUND MESSAGES Google, Lycos nothing was left untouched. The only thing they forgot was to mail iitcse01 & get PTI s help. Ha-NEUMAN then devised a RISCy TECHNOLOGY and used it to cross the seas at an astonishing CLOCK SPEED. Soon Ha-NEUMAN DOWNLOADED himself into LAN-ka. Ha-NEUMAN
found C ta under a brown - green (as Brahma will call it) TREE STRUCTURE Ha-NEUMAN used the LOGIN ID (ring) to identify himself to C ta. After DECRYPTING THE KEY, C ta asked him to send STATUS_OK MESSAGE to RAM.
Meanwhile all raakshasa BUGS around C ta captured Ha-NEUMAN to DELETE him using everything including
Ctrl-Alt-Del. But Ha-NEUMAN spread chaos by spreading VIRUS Fire . Ha-NEUMAN pressed ESCAPE from LAN-kaand & conveyed all the STATUS MESSAGES to RAM and SU-greev. RAW-wan decided to take RAM head-on. One of the RAW-wan s SUN almost DELETED LSI-man with a Brahma -astra. But Ha-NEUMAN resorted to some ACTIVE-Xgradients and REFORMATTED LSI-man. RAM used the SOURCE CODE secrets of RAW-wan and wiped out RAW-wan s presence on earth. Later, RAM got INSTALLED in I/O-dhya and spreaded his USER FRIENDLY PROGRAMS to all USERS and everyone lived happily ever after, playing & enjoying Age Of empires
8:33 AM
Parents to a college watchman:Is this a good college.
Watchman:"Probably the best.I did my MBA here & immediately got placed...
8:17 AM
A train suddenly slips into a crop field and stumbles and stops. The driver was Mr.Bean.
Passengers:Are you blind,how did the train slipped into the field.
BEAN:A man was standing on the tracks.
bFor one man you endangered so many lives, you must have smashed that man.
BEAN:I was trying to do that but he ran into the fields.
8:17 AM
A 6yr old boy on phone:My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to School today.
Teacher: Who is this?
Boy:This is My Father speaking!
8:17 AM
Mr.Bean: Last night I saw an English movie.It had neither scenes nor sounds.
Friend:What is the name of the movie.
Mr.Bean:"NO DISC INSERTED".
8:17 AM
One Bean was going to Chandigarh from Pune by a Air-india plane.He was alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array.
But as soon as the Bean got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady.
After some time the old lady came and requested the Bean to leave the side seat.
But the Bean told, “I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave”.
The old lady then complained to the air hostess .The air hostess requested the Bean to leave that seat but Bean did not leave.
Then the air hostess went and told the asst. Captain. He also came and requested, but in vain.
Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the ears of the Bean and the Bean immediately left the side seat and returned to the middle seat.
Astonished, the airhostess and the asst. captain asked the captain afterwards what he told to the Bean?Captain told, “nothing… I just told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh and all others will go to Jalandhar.”
8:15 AM
Tis is a Crime Story...
5 friends lived in a room,namely MAD,Brain,Fool,Somebody,Nobody.
One day,Somebody killed by Nobody.That time Brain was in the bathroom.
MAD called the POLICE.
MAD:Is it Police Station?
Police:Yes,what is the matter?
MAD:Somebody killed Nobody.
Police:Are you Mad?
MAD:Yes,I am MAD.
Police:Don't you have Brain.
MAD:Brain is in bathroom.
Police:U Fool.
MAD:No,Fool is reading message.
8:12 AM
Mr Bean:
"Dear Bill Gates,we have bought a computerfor our home and we have some problem,which i want to bring it to your notice.
1.There is a 'Stsrt' button but there is no 'Stop' button.We request you to check this.
2.My Child learnt 'Microsoft Word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft Sentence' so wen will you do that?
One Personal question:How is it your name is Gates but you are selling 'Windows'?
Regards,
Bean
8:11 AM
Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!
Teacher: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!
Teacher: Let's try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?
Paddy: Six.
Teacher: Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!
Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?
Paddy: I've already got one rabbit at home now!
8:08 AM
Man:Make a road from my home(INDIA) to USA!!
God:It's very tough task ask something else...
Man:Make Women to love a single person...
God:Should the road be single or double lane...???
8:06 AM
Husband before entering the operation theatre:
If I die,you marry the doctor.
Wife:
Why are you saying like that?
Husband:
That's the only way to take revenge on the doctor.
7:54 AM
There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish.
He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale."
A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish.
The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they're dam fish."
The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish.
His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers aren't supposed to talk like that."
The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them. When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish.
His son replied, "That's the spirit dad. Pass the f**king potatoes!"
7:42 AM
Interviewer: just imagine your in 3rd floor, it caught fire
and how will you escape?
Sardar: its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!
7:42 AM
When sardar was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver
adjusted mirror.
Sardar shouted, "You are trying to see my
wife? Sit back. I will drive.
7:41 AM
Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
So Sardar writes, "Gandi was a great man, but I don't know who is
Jayanthi.
7:40 AM
One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this
village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!
7:39 AM
After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife,
Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?
7:38 AM
Manager asked to sardar at an interview.
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.
7:33 AM
Interviewer:
what is your birth date?
Sardar: 13th October
Which year?
Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR
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