Hum unki chhah main tadapkar-- Sayeri

Hum unki chhah main tadapkar rote hai,
aansoo hamare dikaye nahi dete hai,
unki yaadonmain ratbhar jagate hai,
aur dinka chain bhi khote hai,
fir bhi wo aisa kyon samazati hai ki,
sare mard ek jaise hote hai,

Andhe ke hath me -- Sayeri

Andhe ke hath me "TORCH",
Bahare ke hath me "RADIO",
Gunge ke hath me "MIKE",
AUR AAP KE HATH ME "MOBILE"
WAH WAH Kya Jamana Aaya hai!!!

Mere Marne ke baad aey dost-- PJ

Mere Marne ke baad aey dost aansoo mat bahana...
agar yaad aaye meri to seedhe upar chale aana...
Agar waha me na dikhu to samajh lena tu narak me hai...

Kitna bebas hai insaan apni-- Sayeri

Kitna bebas hai insaan apni kismat ke aage,

Kitna benoor hai sapna haqueequat ke aage,
Koi ruki hui dhadkan se pooche ,
Kitna tadapta hai dil mohhabbat ke aage.

Amiri ke khwab Dekhne-- Sayeri

Amiri ke khwab Dekhne laga,
Angreji Sharab Chakhane laga,
Baap ne kabhi Pager nahi dekha,
aur beta Mobile rakhne laga!!!

Dil k dard ko zuba par ---Sayeri

Dil k dard ko zuba par laate nahi,
hum apni aankhon se ansu bahate nahi,
Zakhm chahe kitne hi gahre kyo na ho,
hum DETTOL k siva kuch laagate nahi.

Main uski yaad mein ban -- Sayeri

Main uski yaad mein ban gaya baraf ka gola
Main uski yaad mein ban gaya baraf ka gola
aur vo boli ki Thanda matlab Coca Cola

Romance Mathematics

Romance Mathematics
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

Mom's advice to her son

Mom's advice to her son .....

1960's Mom to her son- beta, apne caste ki ladki

se hi shaadi karna



1970's...... .... Apne religion ki



1980's ......... Apne level ki

1990's ......... Apne desh ki



2000 ......... Apni umar ki

.

.

.
.



2009 ......... Koi bhi ho,

par Ladki se hi karna....... . !!!

Did you call him stupid?

A worker was called on the carpet by his supervisor for talking back to his foreman. "Is it true that you called him a liar?

"Yes, I did."

"Did you call him stupid?"

"Yes."

"And did you call him an opinionated, egomaniac asshole?"

"No, but would you write that down so I can remember it?"

A businessman peeks inside his shirt pocket

A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks.

After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders another double martini.

After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders another one.

The bartender says: "Look, buddy, I'll bring you martini's all night long - but you got to tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."

The customer replies: "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I will know it's time to go home!"

The nurse starts with certain basic items

A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical. The nurse starts with certain basic items.

"How much do you weigh?" she asks.

"115" she says.

The nurse puts her on the scale. It turns out her weight is 140.

The nurse asks, "Your height?"

"5 foot 8," she says.

The nurse checks and sees that she only measures 5' 5".

She then takes her blood pressure and tells the woman it is very high.

"Of course it's high!" she screams, "When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!"

Teri sabhi baatein baar baar --Sayeri

Teri sabhi baatein baar baar yaad karna acha lagta hai..
Tumhein khud mein mehsoos karna acha lagta hai..
Dua hai bas yahi ke Khuda aapko humse juda na kare..
Kyunke tera saanso ke nazdeek rehna acha lagta hai

Teri sabhi baatein baar baar yaad--Sayeri

Teri sabhi baatein baar baar yaad karna acha lagta hai..
Tumhein khud mein mehsoos karna acha lagta hai..
Dua hai bas yahi ke Khuda aapko humse juda na kare..
Kyunke tera saanso ke nazdeek rehna acha lagta hai

Umra ki raah me raaste badal --sayeri

Umra ki raah me raaste badal jaate hai,
Waqt ki aandhi mein insaan badal jaate hai,
Sochate hai tumhe itna yaad na karen,
Magar aankh band karte hi iraade badal jate hai.

''putar andrse mere daant le aa

Budda-''putar andrse mere daant le aa''. Putar-'par dadaji abhi roti to bani nahi'
Budda-'o nai putar roti ni khani,samne wali budi nu smile deni hai.

Is there any way for long life?

Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist

A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist if there is anybody in Room 27.

She goes and checks, and comes back to the phone, telling him that the room is empty.

"Good," says the man. "That means I must have really escaped."

You're in good health

Doctor: You're in good health. You'll live to be 80.

Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now.

Doctor: See, what did I tell you.

A pipe burst in a doctor's house

A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600.

The doctor exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much as a doctor!." The plumber waited for him to finish and quietly said, "Neither did I when I was a doctor."

A man goes to the doctor and says to the doctor

A man goes to the doctor and says to the doctor:
"It hurts when I press here" (pressing his side)
"And when I press here" (pressing the other side)
"And here" (his leg)
"And here, here and here" (his other leg, and both arms)

So the doctor examined him all over and finally discovered what was wrong... "You've got a broken finger!

Patient's relatives gathered in the waiting room

In the hospital, a patient's relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. "I'm afraid I am the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces. "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, semi-risky, and you will have to pay for the brain yourselves."

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. At last, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"

The doctor quickly responded, "$200 for a female brain, and $500 for a male brain."

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. A girl, unable to control her curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the male brain so much more?"

The doctor smiled at her childish innocence and then said, "It's a standard pricing procedure. We have to mark the female brains down, because they're used!!!!!!!"

A man goes to his doctor and says

A man goes to his doctor and says, "I don't think my wife's hearing isn't as good as it used to be. What should I do?" The doctor replies, "Try this test to find out for sure.
When your wife is in the kitchen doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a question, if she doesn't respond keep moving closer asking the question until she hears you."

The man goes home and sees his wife preparing dinner. He stands fifteen feet behind her and says, "What's for dinner, honey?" He gets no response, so he moves to ten feet behind her and asks again. Still no response, so he moves to five feet. still no answer. Finally he stands directly behind her and says, "Honey, what's for dinner?" She replies, "For the fourth time, I SAID CHICKEN!"

Nigaho me or koi dosti ke kabil--sayeri

Nigaho me or koi dosti ke kabil na raha,
Is kinare ka or koi sahil na raha.

Chand jaisa dost mila hume zamin par,
Aasma ka chand bhi ab deedar k kabil nahi raha.
Wo mere liye kuch khaas hai yaaro'
Jinke laut aane ki na koi aas hai Yaaro'

Wo najro se door hai to kya huwa..
Banke dil ki dhadkn mere paas to hai yaaro'

Kash Ye Dil Shishe ka bana hota--Sayeri

Kash Ye Dil Shishe ka bana hota,

Chot Lagti to Beshak ye Fanah hota. .

Par Sunte Jab Wo Aawaz iske Tutne ki,
Tab Unhe b Apne Gunah ka Ehsaas hota...

Surinder's uncle was booked into an SIA flight

Surinder's uncle was booked into an SIA flight to Bombay. But as this was his first time in an airplane, he made a few preparations that were out of place. When the stewardess came around to take orders for the in-flight meal, the uncle declared loudly, "I have brought my own lunch. Make sure you don't charge me for food and drinks!"

So, as everybody was given their in-flight meal, the uncle began spreading out his own home-cooked meal. The man sitting next to him was an American history researcher, who was curious about the food. "Excuse me, what is that drink?" he asked.

The uncle picked up the yogurt-based lassi drink and said, "Milk of India!"

The the uncle took out several pieces of chapattis and started feasting. "And what is that dish?" asked the curious American.

"Wheat of India!" replied the uncle proudly.

Finally, the uncle took out some desserts. He offered some to the American.

"What is it?" asked the American.

"Sweet of India!" replied the old man.

After the meal, everyone was settling down when there was a loud "Pproooooooot!" from the uncle.

"What was that?" asked the American in disgust.
The old man replied coolly, "That's Air India!"

Gabbar nd Sambha Conversation

Gabbar: Kitne admi they?
Sambha: Sardar 2
Gabbar: Mujhe ginti nahin aati, 2 kitne hote hain?
Samba: Sardar 2, 1 ke baad aata hai
Gabbar: Aur 2 ke pehle?
Samba: 2 k pehle 1 aata hai.
Gabbar: To beech mein kaun ata hai?
Samba: Beech mein koi nahi aata>
Gabbar:: To phir dono ek saath kyun nahin aate?
Samba: 1 k baad hi 2 aa sakta hai, kyun ki 2, 1 se bada hai.
Gabar: 2, 1 se kitna bada hai?
Samba: 2, 1 se 1 bada hai.
Gabbar: Agar 2, 1 se 1 bada hai to 1, 1 se kitna bada hai?
Samnba: Sardar maine aapka namak khaya hai, mujhe goli maar do

Tumne kabhi Ullu dekha hai

Angry boss: Tumne kabhi Ullu dekha hai?
Executive (sar jhukate hue): Nahin sir.
Boss: Niche kya dekh rahe ho ? Meri taraf dekho.

I saw a man beating

Teacher : Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing ?
Student : BROTHERLY LOVE

What is the fullform of maths

Question:What is the fullform of maths.
Anwser:Mentaly affected teachers harrasing students