Tumse Shaadi Karke Mujhe Ek

Husband: Tumse Shaadi Karke Mujhe Ek Bahut Bada Faayda Hua Hai.
Wife: Woh Kya?
Husband: Mujhe Mere Gunaaho ki Saza Jeete-Jee Hi Mil Gayi!

my wife is missing

Man: Sir, my wife is missing.
Postman: Yeh post office hai, police station nahi.
Man: Kya karu? Kahan jau? Khushi k maare kuchh samajh me nahi aa raha.

The Problem was who should get custody of the child

The Problem was who should get custody of the child.


The wife screamed and jumped up and said: "Your Honor. I brought The child into the world with all the pain and labor.


The child Should be in my custody."
The judge turned to the husband and said: "What do you have to Say in your defense?"


The man sat for a while contemplating. ..then slowly rose. "Your Honor... If I put a dollar in a Pepsi Vending Machine and a Pepsi Comes out...

Whose Pepsi is it... The machine's or mine?"

What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven

A New York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him "What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?"

The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, "A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street."

Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was true.

Saint Peter said, "Well, that's fine, but it's not really quite enough to get you into Heaven."

The Lawyer said, "Wait Wait! There's more! Three years ago I also gave a homeless person a quarter."

Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this, too, had been verified.

Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, "Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?"

Gabriel gave the Lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter, "Let's give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell."

What's the difference between theorectically and realistically

A young boy asks his dad: "What's the difference between theorectically and realistically?"

"Well son, go and ask your mother if she would sleep with the postman for $1million ..."

The little boy asks his mum and then goes back to his dad: "She said yes ..."

"Now go and ask your sister if she would sleep with the milkman for $2million ..."

The little boy asks his sister: "She said yes, but whats the difference between theoretically and realistically?"

"Well son, theorectically we are sitting on $3million ... realistically we are living with a couple of slags!"

Aik student jo Hostel mein rehta tha

Aik student jo Hostel mein rehta tha,
Raat ko 3 baje uth ke namaz parhne ke baad Dua mangne laga,
"Mola sab so rahe hein aur mein teri ibadat kar raha hoon".
To brabar wale bed se us ke room mate ne awaz lagayi,
"Kameeny tu apni Dua maang, hamari shikayat kiu kar raha

Mom is bar hum sare patakhe

Child: Mom is bar hum sare patakhe es shop se lenge.
Mom: lekin beta ye to girls hostel hai.
Child: Papa to kehte hain k sari phul-jhadiyan yahi rehti hai.

Positive-thinking poem

Positive-thinking poem:
Little bird in d sky Dropping shit into ur eye.
U don't worry u don't cry U just thank
God that cows do not fly....

Are circuit apun ko ek nurse se

Munna Bhai : are circuit apun ko ek nurse se pyar ho gela hai letter me kya likhu ?
Circuit : simple bhai likhne ka ---------
DeAr sIsTeR I LOVE U!

Tumhara munna bhai

Shadi karni thi Par kismat khuli nahi

Shadi karni thi Par kismat khuli nahi
Taj banana tha Par mumtaj mili nahi
Ek din kismat khuli Aur sadi ho gaye
Ab Taj banana hai Par ab ye mumtaj marti nahi

Conversation Between Wife and Husband

Wife : Kal rat tum nind me muje galiya de rahe the
Husband : Tumhe galat-fehmi hui he

Wife : Kaisi galat-fehmi?
Husband : Yehi ki me nind me tha

भिखारी (शर्मा जी से- साहब 6 रुपये दे दो

भिखारी (शर्मा जी से- साहब 6 रुपये दे दो कॉफी पीनी है।

शर्मा जी (भिखारी से)- कॉफी तो 3 रुपये की मिलती है फिर 6 क्यों?

भिखारी- साहब प्रेमिका भी साथ है...

शर्मा जी- भिखारी होकर प्रेमिका भी बना ली???

भिखारी- साहब मैंने प्रेमिका नही बनाई, प्रेमिका ने मुझे भिखारी बना दिया!!!!!

एक आदमी किसी पार्टी में 8 बटर नान खा लेता है।

एक आदमी किसी पार्टी में 8 बटर नान खा लेता है।
उसे कब्ज की शिकायत हो गई।
अगले दिन वह टॉयलेट में बैठा हुआ था।
वह प्रार्थना करता है : हे भगवान या तो जान निकाल दे या नान।

एक दिन राजू के पापा एक रोबोट ले कर आये

एक दिन राजू के पापा एक रोबोट ले कर आये.

वह रोबोट झूठ पकड़ सकता था और झूठ बोलने वाले को गाल पर खीँच कर चांटा मार देता था.

आज राजू स्कूल से घर देर से आया था... पापा ने पूछा "घर लौटने में देर क्यो हो गयी?"

"आज हमारी एक्स्ट्रा क्लासेस थी" राजू ने जवाब दिया...

रोबोट अचानक अपनी जगह से उछला और जमकर राजू के गाल पर चांटा मार दिया.

पापा हंसकर बोले, "ये रोबोट हर झूठ को पकड़ सकता है और झूठ बोलने वाले को चांटा भी मारता है. अब सच क्या है यह बताओ... कहाँ गए थे?"

"में फिल्म देखने गया था" राजू बोला

"कौन सी फिल्म?" पापा ने कड़ककर पूछा

"हनुमान"
चटाक... अभी राजू की बात पूरी भी नहीं हुई थी की उसके गाल पर रोबोट ने एक जोर का चांटा मारा.

"कौन सी फिल्म?" पापा ने फिर पूछा

"कातिल जवानी."

पापा ग़ुस्से में बोले "शर्म आनी चाहिए तुम्हे. जब में तुम्हारे जितना था तब ऐसी हरकत नहीं किया करता था."

चटाक... रोबोट ने एक चांटा मारा... इस बार पापा के गाल पर.

यह सुनते ही मम्मी किचन में से आते हुए बोली "आख़िर तुम्हारा बेटा है ना... झूठ तो बोलेगा ही"अब मम्मी की बारी थी... चटाक...

इस जंतु का नाम है "GirlFriend"

इस जंतु का नाम है "GirlFriend" . . . . . .

ये अक्सर "Boyfriend" के साथ पाई जाती है !

इनका पोस्टिक आहार "Boyfriend" का भेजा होता है !

इनको अक्सर नाराज होने का नाटक करते हुए देखा जा सकता है ! पर अगर पैसे खर्च किये जाये तो फीर नाटक ख़त्म हो जाता है...

इस प्राणी का सबसे खतरनाक हथियार रोना और इमोशनली ब्लैक मेल करना होता है !

गर्ल फ्रेंड से ब्रेक अप पर टेंशन नाम की बीमारी हो जाती है, जिसका कोई इलाज नहीं.. ये ही एक ऐसा प्राणी है जिसपे कोई विस्वास नहीं करता है...

गर्ल फ्रेंड के लिए बॉय फ्रेंड कुछ भी कर सकता है, यहाँ तक की हस्ते हस्ते कुत्ता भी बनता है... इस प्राणी में बहुत सारे अवगुण फीर भी ये प्राणी इतनी आसानी से नहीं मिलता है, ये प्राणी भाव बहुत खाता है, पर इस प्राणी के पास होता कुछ भी नहीं है जो वास्तविक हो जिसपे भाव खाया जा सके..... ये प्राणी नर प्राणी को बर्बाद करने में कोई भी कसर नहीं छोरता है... ये प्राणी रुपया को आसानी से सूंघ सकता है......
so be careful dost.......

एक आदमी ने बीवी को खत लिखा

एक आदमी ने बीवी को खत लिखा - इस महीने तनख्वाह के बदले 100 किस भेज रहा हूं, काम चला लेना।
पत्नी ने जवाब भेजा - आपकी तनख्वाह के बदले 100 किस मिले, हिसाब भेज रही हूं।
दूधवाला- 2 किस में मान गया।
चुन्नू के टीचर को -7 देने पड़े।
सब्जीवाला -7 में नहीं माना, -9 देने पड़े।
किराने वाला केवल किस में नहीं माना तो उसे कुछ और भी देना पड़ा।
मकान मालिक तो रोज 2-4 ले जाता है।
आप चिंता मत करना, मेरे पास अब भी 35 बचे हुए हैं, महीना कट जाएगा

एक आदमी ने घनघोर तपस्या की और शिवजी को प्रसन्न कर लिया

एक आदमी ने घनघोर तपस्या की और शिवजी को प्रसन्न कर लिया। शिवजी बोले - बेटा, मैं तुझसे बहुत खुश हूं। कोई वरदान मांग ।

भक्त बोला - प्रभु, मुझे एक गिटार दे दो।

गिटार ! कैसा गधा है। शिवजी ने सोचा । कोई गिटार के लिए भी तपस्या करता है।

बोले - बेटा, तूने बड़ी तपस्या की है। कुछ बड़ा मांग। चिन्ता मत कर, सब कुछ मिलेगा।

भक्त बोला - नहीं प्रभु, मुझे तो सिर्फ एक गिटार चाहिए बस !

शिवजी समझाने लगे - बेटा, कुछ ढंग का मांग। मेरी रेपुटेशन का तो खयाल कर। गिटार भी कोई मांगने की चीज है भला।

परंतु भक्त भी जिद पर अड़ा हुआ था, बोला - नहीं प्रभु, अगर देना है तो बस गिटार ही दो !

अब शिवजी को गुस्सा आ गया, बोले - गिटार ! गिटार ! गिटार ! अबे अगर गिटार मेरे पास होता तो मैं ये डमरू क्यों बजाता फिरता

Who is the Boss?????

A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says, "the parrot on the left costs 500 dollars". "Why does the parrot cost so much," asks the man. The shop owner says, "well, the parrot knows how to use a computer".

The man then asks about the next parrot to be told that this one costs 1,000 dollars because it can do everything the other parrot can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system.

Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot to be told that it costs 2,000 dollars. Needless to say this begs the question, "What can it do?" To which the shop owner replies, "to be honest I have never seen it do a thing, but the other two call him boss!"

E KHUDA TU ISHQ NA KARANA

E KHUDA TU ISHQ NA KARANA,
VARANA PACHATAYEGA,
HUM TO MAR KAR TERE PASS AATE HAI,
TU KAHAN JAYEGA.

SADAK KE IS PAR MERA GHAR

SADAK KE IS PAR MERA GHAR,
SADAK KE US PAR TERA GHAR,
AA JA SADAK KE BICHO-BICH PYAR KARE,
NA TERE BAAP KA DAR
NA MERE BAAP KA DAR

Ya Khuda teri Khudai

1 ladke ki shadi nahi ho rahi thi,
Wo mannat mangne gaya.
Wahan uski Maa khai me ghir gayi,
Wo bola - "Ya Khuda teri Khudai Apni to mili nahi Bapu ki bhi gawayi".

Bhagwan mujhe wardan do ki

BHAKT - Bhagwan mujhe wardan do ki mai marne ke bad phir zinda ho sakun.

BANGWAN- Ye mere bas ki bat nahi hai putra, ye sirf Ekta Kapoor kar sakti hai.

Laloo goes 2 a shop n asks

Laloo goes 2 a shop n asks: "Ye Bandarva
ka Photu kitne ka hai re..?"
Shopkeeper: "wo phutva nahi saheb" Wo
to Seesa hai...!

darling aaj barsat ka din hai

Santa: darling aaj barsat ka din hai,
koi aisi romantic baat kaho ki mere pair jamin pe na rahe,
wife: darling fansi laga lo.

Laloo bada chalak hai

Laloo bada chalak hai
Nau baccho ka bap hai
Laloo bada nirala he
Dasva ane wala he..
Ye andar ki baat hai
Isme Vajpayee ka hat hai..

Yaar koi aisa kaam bata

Santa-Yaar koi aisa kaam bata jis me jyada profit ho?
Banta:Aisa kar sardiyon me sasti Baraf leker garmiyon me
bech dal.

Two children were sitting outside a clinic.

Two children were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying very loudly.

2nd Child: Why are you crying?

1st Child: I came here for blood test.

2nd Child: So? Are you afraid?

1st Child: No. Not that. For the blood test, they cut my finger.

At this, the second one started crying. The first one was astonished.

1st Child: Why are you crying now?

2nd Child: I have come for my urine test!

aap papa ban gaye

Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.

Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!

Before the marriage

Before the marriage:

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.




Now after the marriage you can read it from below to
up !!!!

A parrot shits on a sardar

A parrot shits on a sardar
Sardar shouts angrily: CHADI nai pehenta kiya"
Da parrot shouts back:" Tu chaddi main karta hai kiya"

what's the meaning of this

Customer :Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter :I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.

What happened to 'beautiful'

There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side.

His eyes fluttered open and he said: "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again.

His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said: "You're cute!"

Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of "beautiful" it was "cute."

She said: "What happened to 'beautiful'?"

He replied: "The drugs are wearing off!"

How natural Little Johnny

A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, "Where is Jesus today?"

Steven raises his hand and says, "He's in Heaven."

Mary answers, "He's in my heart."

Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, "He's in our bathroom!"

The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.

"Well," Little Johnny says, "every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!'"

Best Ideas when husband refused to come shopping

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.

"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do to him."

कंप्यूटर एर्रोर

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over. Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.
As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong? He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'
Eric grinned.... 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?
'No,' I replied. 'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.'
So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T

Old lady crying

When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong.
She said, 'I have a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee.'
I said, 'Well, then why are you crying?'
She said, 'He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for half the afternoon.
I said, 'Well, why are you crying?'
She said, 'For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a.m.'
I said, 'Well, why in the world would you be crying?'
She said, 'I can't remember where I live!'

The Captain nd The First Officer

It was the first time they had flown together, and it was obvious by their silence that they didn't get along. After 30 minutes, the Captain finally spoke.
He said, "I don't like Chinese."
The First Officer replied, "Ooooh, no like Chinese? Why that?"
The Captain said, "You bombed Pearl Harbour. That's why I don't like Chinese."
The First Officer said, "Nooooo, noooo ... Chinese not bomb Pearl Harbour. That JAPANESE, not Chinese."
And the Captain answered, "Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese ... it doesn't matter. They're all alike."
Another 30 minutes of silence.
Finally the First Officer said, "No like Jew."
The Captain replied, "Why not? Why don't you like Jews?"
"Jews sink Titanic."
The Captain tried to correct him, "No, no. The Jews didn't sink the Titanic, it was an iceberg."
"Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg, Spielberg ... no mattah ... all same."

she saw a huge wall of clocks behind

Rabri Devi died and went to heaven (Don't Laugh). As she stood in front of yamraj , she saw a huge wall of clocks behind.

She asked, "What are all those clocks?"
Yamraj answered, "Those are LieCloks. Everyone on Earth has a LieClock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said Rabri, "Who's clock is that?" That's Gautam Buddha's. The hands have never moved indicating that he never told a lie.

"And whose clock is that?" That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice, telling us that Abraham only told 2 lies in his entire life."
Rabri asked, "Where's my Laloo's clock?"
"Laloo's clock is in my office", replied yamraj, "I'm using it as a ceiling fan

Two Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T

Two Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T, were talking about the American Astronauts.

One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun."

"But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt."

And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night."

John Abraham was driving down the street

John Abraham was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.
Looking up toward heaven, he said "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up tequila."
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
John looked up again and said,
"Never mind. I found one."

lehna Bought A Brand New Maruti

lehna Bought A Brand New Maruti And Decided To Drive Down From Amritsar, Where He Lived, To Jalandhar, To His Sasural. He Reached Jalandhar In A Few Hours.after Spending A Few Days There, He Decided To Return, And Called Up His Mother To Expect Him In The Evening. But He Didn't Reach Amritsar That Evening And Not Even The Next Day.when He Reached Home On The Third Day,his Distraught Mother Ran Out, Hugged Him And Asked,'arre Puttar, Ki Hoya?' Lehna Got Out, Obviously Very Tired From A Long Journey, And Said,'oy,ye Mrutti Wale Pagal Hain, Agge Jaane Vaaste Chaar Gear Banaate Hain, Aur Pichche Jaane Vaaste Sirf Ik'

Bholaji finds himself in dire trouble

Bholaji finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask Bhagwan for help. He goes into the temple and begins to pray........... "Oh Bhagwan, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto(lottery)".

Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Bholaji goes back to the temple..................... "Bhagwan, please let me win the lotto, I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well". Lotto night comes and Bholaji still has no luck!!

Back to the temple.................. "My Bhagwan, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving.. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won't you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order???".

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the sky parts open and Bholaji is confronted by the
voice of God
"Bholaji, buy a damn lottery ticket first".

Santa and Banta are employed in a computer

Santa and Banta are employed in a computer hardware store as movers.
One day both of them are asked to move some computers. Santa being energetic that day does
not feel the computer to be heavy at all.
At the same time he sees that Banta is struggling very hard to lift his computer.
At this Santa says, "What Banta, my computer has 500 MB Hard Disk yours has just 250, even
then you cannot lift it?"
At this Banta thinks for a while and replies "That is right, but my Hard Disk is full and
yours is empty"

A three-year-old walked up to

A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctor's office.
He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"
She replied, "I'm having a baby."
With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"
She answered, "He sure is."
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"
She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."
With an even more surprised and shocked look he asked, "Then why did you eat him?"

A man sees a woman getting chased by a dog

A man sees a woman getting chased by a dog in chandni chowk area of New Delhi .

When the dog is about to bite the woman, the man intervenes and kicks
the dog.

An AAJ TAK reporter was seeing all this.

He said"That was great.

I'll definitely publish this in our newspaper.

Tomorrow the headline will be 'LOCAL HERO SAVES LADY FROM A DOG'."


The man replied "Thank you, but I'm not from here. I am from US".

Reporter said " OK. Then the headline will be US CITIZEN SAVES WOMAN
FROM A DOG".

Man: Actually, I live in US but I'm not a US citizen.


I'm a Pakistani national by origin".

Next day, the headline in the paper read

....

....



Pakistani Terrorist ATTACKS A LOCAL DOG

Chuha sherni ko propose karta hai

Chuha sherni ko propose karta hai

Sherni: apni shakal dekhi hai aaine mein??
Chuha: Arre shakal pe mat ja..... mera confidence to dekh!!

In this job we need someone who

Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."

Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

child comes home from his first day

The child comes home from his first day at school. Mother asks, "What did you learn today?"

The kid replies, "Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow."

You may have three wishes

A woman finds a genie's lamp. The Genie comes out and says, "You may have three wishes, but your husband will get ten times more than what you wished for."

The woman agrees. Her first wish was that she would be the most beautiful woman in the world. "You realize," the Genie said, "that your husband will be ten times more beautiful than you, and more women will gawk at him?"

"That's okay," says the woman, "He'll only look at me because I will be the most beautiful women." So the wish is granted.

Her second wish was that she would be the richest woman in the world. "You know your husband will be ten times richer, right?" the Genie asks.

"That's okay. What's mine is his and what's his is mine," replied the woman. So the wish was granted.

The woman then thinks long and hard about her last wish. She finally wishes that she had a mild heart attack.

Why is a man like

Why is a man like the weather?

Nothing can be done to change either one of them

An old Italian Mafia Don

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed Grandson I wanta you to listen to me. I wanta you to take mya 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me. But grandpa I really don't like guns, how about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead.

You lisina to me, some day you goin a be run da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lots of money, a biga home and maybe a couple od bambino, some day you goina come hom and maybe finda you wife in be with another man. Whata you gonna do then? Point to you watch and say, "TIMES UP"?

Conversation Between Boy and Girl [हिन्दी]

Conversation Between Boy and Girl {Hindi}

The Conversation in the brackets {} contain the words which the guy is speaking to himself!!!

She gives a missed call to him and He calls her back

She: Hello!


He: {are yaar...Raat ke 11 bajte nahin ki iski 2-2 second waali missed calls shuru ho jati hai... aaj kya bore karegi}
Hi ...kya baat hai..?

She: kuch nahi...bas aise hi phone kiya...

He: {Aise hee ?? Yeh kya Radio Station hai ki aise hee ...!! Aur Call kahan kiya ?... khali missed call to diya hai, roz ki tarah...}
oh...ok ..kya kar rahi thi ??

She: abhi abhi dinner khatam kiya...tum kya kar rahe the?

He: {mai to lunch karke utha hoon na}
Mera bhi abhi abhi dinner khatam hua.. ab....'Ladki Kyon Najaane Kyon' sun raha hu FM par....
She: nice song (And then she hums a line from the song 'Hum Tum')

He: {Yaaaaaaaaarrrrr kyun bola gaane ka naam .. Ab ye Madonna saare raag gaa degi yaheen}
Hey!!!! Tum itni achchi gaati ho? mujhe pata hi nahi tha ..

She: *giggles*

He: {Ohhhho kya hansti hai .. aisa lag raha hai koi gaadi start kar raha hai}
Hey ek aur baar gaao na pls!

She: Yehan sab so rahe hai... Agar main gaaongi to sab uth jaaenge

He: {Ekdum Correct...woh yehi samjhenge ki koi paagal, kisi baat par naraaz ho gayi hai ..}
Come on! Please!

She: Hattt ...I don't sing that well

He: {Yeh to saari duniya ko pata hai... paka kyun rahi hai}
It was really sweet. Please gaao na dear

She: Mujhe kuch ajeeb sa lagta hai jaan

He: {mujhe tujhse jyada ajeeb lagta hai, dekh phir bhi shaheed hone ko tayaar baitha hoon}
Aisa kuch bhi nahi hai jaanu... gaao na

He: {mere ko doosra raasta nahi hai....is liye bola}
Abhi tum gaaogi ya nahi ?

She: kyun pareshaan kar rahe ho?

He: Acchha! Ok Nahi karta

She: I don't have that great a voice ... ye to aise hee gaa diya tha ... warna mai nahin gaati

He: {Fir aise hee ??? bada ehsaan karti agar nahin gaati kaan mai se khoon nikalne waala hai... saala gadha bhi sharma jaaye teri awaaz sunke}
hmmmm

She: Theek hai... jab itni zid kar rahe ho... sirf ek stanza gaaungi theek hai??

He: [Abbe teri !!! fas gayaaaaa ... shittttt aur kya kya jhelna padega malum nahi]
Great!!!!

She: kaunsa gaana gaau ?

He: {Tum kuch bhi gaao... meri to aaj by default neend haraam hai}
Hmmmm 'Mahiya' from Awarapan?

She: Nice song... But mujhe lyrics yaad nahi hai

He: {Thank God ... Text book chhodke tujhe aur kya pata hai bol...}
Dhoom Machale?

She: Nahi main wohi gaana gaaungi
He: {Aye tere nakhre ... mai to jaise mara jaa raha hoon teri awaaz sun ne ke liye Shakira koi bhi gaana gaa....mere kaan to pakne waale hai}
Cool

(She clears her throat, hums a line and then)

She: Nahi jaan I am feeling very shy!

He: [Tu shuru kyun hoti hai ek bar shuru hokar khatam kyun nahin karti jaldi jaldi... ab kya Eden Gardens book karun, tab gayegi]
Gaao na...pls gaao na....teri awaaz ki samundar me main doob jaana chahta hoon

She: dekho...ab tum mujhe naaraaz kar rahe ho

He: {Achchha ab tujhe manaane mai poore sheher ko phool leke bhejun kya}
No no... Tum shy feel kar rahi ho na... is liye... Trying to make u comfortable

She: Hmmm

He: {Ye makkhi ki tarah kya shuru ho gayi}
Please gaao na darling...

She: Main kal gaaun?

He: {Haaaaaannnn. ..jaaan bachi... nikal leta hoon...abhi mauka hai}
Theek hai jaisi tumhaari merzi

She: Hmmm

He: Good night

She: Good night

She: Sweet Dreams Take care...

He: Sweets dreams to u too...{kaahe ke sweet dreams... sone degi tab na ayenge dreams abhi 2 minute mein fir call karegi}

After a while She calls Him (sorry...that never happens, she gives only a missed call)
She: Hey so gaye the kya?

He: {Nahiii... tare gin raha tha}
Nahi jaan

She: kya kar rahe ho?

He: {Raat ko kya gili danda khelna hai...}
Match dekh raha tha
She: Theek hai tum match dekho

He: {phone rakhegi to dekhunga na... ya tu running commentary sunayegi}
Hey it's ok... purana match hai

She: Did u feel bad I didn't sing?

(Since it is a tricky question, He thinks for a while)

He: {Bad eh? Crazy girl... this was the luckiest day in my life, since you didn't sing}
Bad toh main nahi keh raha jaanu. But I want you to be comfortable first.... tumhi ne bola ki main kal gaaungi.....

So, me waiting {maine to socha tha ki aaj bach gaya... dhatttt tereki }

She sings 1 stanza from the song

'Jiski aankhon me meri hi nami.....'

He: Wow. Too good!

She: jhoot....mujhe maloom hai ki meri awaaz itni achchi nahi hai

He: {Saamne aa jaa, fir bataata hoon... pagal kar diya... chalo shukr hai self realization hai ... }
Nahi darling you really sing well

She: nahi..mujhe maloom hai tum bas aise hi keh rahe ho

He: {Very good.. aakhir tumne pata laga hi liya.....kyun bhagwaan kyun !! mere saath ye julm kyun}
Cheee! Cheee! teri voice agar itni buri hoti to main kya ab tak na sun raha hota

She: Hmmmm...theek hai.. good night.. ab tum bhi so jaao

He: {Achcha mil gayi permission ... waise tera gaana sunne ke baad neend kahanaayegi ab ...}
Good night!

She: Take care

He: You too

She: Hey....

He: {Arrre yaar.. aaj ye nahi chhodegi}kya hai sweety?

She: sach bataao honey..meri voice achchi hai ya nahi...
He: {Tu apni voice record karke sun kyon nahi leti ek baar !! dimaag ka dahi kar rakha hai .. lassi banaake peeja mere dimaag ki}
sachchi... Of course.

She: sirf jhoot

He: {Iski toh... !! jab pata hai to mujhse kya singing sensation ka award legi !! phata dhol}
Not at all. You sing very well

She: Hmmm.... tum keh rahe ho to theek hi hoga. Good night.
He: Good Night!! Offff...

God Is Watching…

God Is Watching…

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.

The nun made a note and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.”

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

There once was a bear and a rabbit

There once was a bear and a rabbit and they hated each other. The bear and rabbit then stumbled upon a magical talking tree. The tree said: "I will grant you 3 wishes a piece if you will stop fighting!"

So the bear went first. "I wish all the bears in the forest are females." And all the bears in the forest turned into females.

The rabbit said: "I wish I had a helmet." Rabbit gets the helmet and the bear looks at him funny.

The bear wishes: "I wish all the bears in the country are females." The wish was granted.

The rabbit says, "I wish I have a motorcycle." By this point the bear thinks the rabbit is the stupidest thing he's ever seen. The rabbit could wish for money and have all the motorcycles in the world.

The bear says: "I wish all the bears in the world are female." The wish is granted.

When it's the rabbit's turn to wish, he puts on his helmet, gets on his motorcycle, and says: "I wish that bear is gay."

BOYS FIX THINGS. GIRLS NEED THINGS FIXED. UPDATE

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"

The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"

A boy is writing a paper on childbirth and asks his parents

A boy is writing a paper on childbirth and asks his parents: "How was I born?"

His mother awkwardly answers: "The stork brought you."

"Oh," says the boy. "Well, how were you and Daddy born?"

"Oh, the stork brought us, too, and Grandpa and Grandma."

The boy begins his paper: "This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."

Chor 1 ghar me chori karne gaya

Chor 1 ghar me chori karne gaya,

tijori par likha tha

" TIJORI KO TODNE KI JARURAT NAHI,

452 No. LAGAO AUR SAMNE WALA LAAL BUTTON DABAO,

TIJORI KHUL JAYEGI "

Jaise hi button dabaya alarm baja aur police aayi.

Jate waqt chor seth se bola

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"AAJ MERA INSANIYAT SE VISHWAS UTH GAYA "!!!!

Lamha Lamha Waqt Guzar Jayega

Lamha Lamha Waqt Guzar Jayega,
Chand Lamhon Men Exam Sar Pe Ajayega,
Abhi Bhi Waqt Hai Do Line Padh Lo,
Warna Paas Kya Munna Bhai Karwae Ga

--------------

PRINCIPAL :
Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI :
Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu

-------------

Q: What did the potato say when it answered the phone ?
A: "Aaloo?"




Q: What did the flower say to its girl-friend?
A: Why do phools fall in love?





Q: What did the confused egg say?
A: I don't unda-stand.

Agar bina danto ka kutta kate to

Munna bhai: Agar bina danto ka kutta kate to kya karna chahiye?
Circuit: Simple bhai... Bina sui ka injection lagane ka!

A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR

------------------

Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die lik my grandpa who died peacefuly in his
sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d car he was driving..

----------------

Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that’s a mirror!

------------------

Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.

------------

Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab.
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..

------------

A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning.
Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.

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Teacher: "How do u think Shakespeare wrote such master pieces?"
College student: "With a pencil, maam, either a 2B or not 2B."

-----------

A school girl was having an eye test.
"Can u read out the letters on the chart on the wall?" asked the optician.
"Chart? Where?" asked the girl.

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A teacher was asking her class:
"What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?"
Only one hand shot up.
"Ok, answer, Joan," said the teacher. "'unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'ill egal' is a sick eagle."

---------

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE : Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : George.

----------

SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: Are you chewing gum?
BILLY : No, I'm Billy Anderson.

-------------

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.
------------ --
Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the
computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
------------ ---------
On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our
engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.
------------ --------
Doctor to patient : You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one
before you die?
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.
------------ --------- --------- -
2 sardars were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have one more.
============ ========= ==
Sardar was busy removing a wheel from
his auto. A man asks sardar why
are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.
============ ========= ====
Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi
petrol se start hoti hai.
============ ========= =======
Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab .
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.
============ ======

One day Bill complained to his friend

One day Bill complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor."

His friend offered, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker an cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10."

Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks.

Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.

He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:

Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.

stupid questions asked by people at obv. situation

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends...

Stupid Question:-

Hey, what are you doing here?

Answer:-

Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..


2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...

Stupid Question:-

Sorry, did that hurt?

Answer:-

No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again.


3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...

Stupid Question:-

Why, why him, of all people.

Answer:-

Why? Would it rather have been you?


4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter

Stupid Question:-

Is ! the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??

Answer:-

No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.


5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...

Stupid Question:-

Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.

Answer:-

Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.


6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...

Stupid Question:-

Is the guy you're marrying good?

b

No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.


7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...

Stupid Question:-

Sorry. were you sleeping?

Answer:-

No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping....you dumb witted moron.


8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...

Stupid Question:-

Hey have you had a haircut?

Answer:-

No, its autumn and I'm shedding......



9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...

Stupid Question:-

Tell me if it hurts?

Answer:-

No it wont. It will just bleed.


10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...

Stupid Question:-

Oh, so you smoke.

Answer:-

Gosh, it's a miracle .......it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!

Saying The Right Thing While Drunk - PRICELESS

A man wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to
open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and
a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing
in front of him, all clean and pressed.

He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order,
spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins
and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I
left early to go shopping. Love You!"

So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast
and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.
He asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 am, drunk and delirious.
Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black
eye when you stumbled into the door". Confused, He asks, "So, why
is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table
waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!"

His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when
she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said, "Lady leave me
alone! I'm married!"

Moral
Self-induced hangover -- Rs. 2000.00
Broken furniture -- Rs. 20,000.00
Breakfast -- Rs. 100.00
Saying The Right Thing While Drunk - PRICELESS

Banner cum Sign Board

A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company..
Drive Slowly, Dont kill our Employee...
..... Leave them to us

philosophy of life

At the begining of married life, every gal treats her husband as GOD,
Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!

lalu prasad

Laloo: 2 his P.A.: Itne khilari kyun football ko laat mar rahe hai?
P.A.: Goal kar ne k liye.
Laloo: Susra, Ball to pahle se hi gol hai

Kanjus Baap

Kanjus Baap: Kaha gaya tha...
Beta : ji GF ke sath...
Kanjus Baap: Kitna kharcha aayeya ....
Beta : 250 rs....
Kanjus Baap: 250 rs???
Beta : Ji uske pass itne hi the....

The phone bill

The phone bill
The phone bill was exceptionally high and

the man of the house called a family meeting...

On a Saturday morning...

after breakfast...



Dad:
People this is unacceptable.
You have to limit the use of the phone.
I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.


Mum:
Same here,
I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone.


Son:
Me too,
I never use the home phone.
I always use my company mobile.


Maid:
So - what is the problem?
We all use our work telephones !!!!!

Bus driver k piche betha bacha

Bus driver k piche betha bacha

shor kar rha tha

Agar meri ma hathni hoti main hathi hota

Agar cow to mai bull hota

Bus driver guse me bola........


Ager tere maa-baap awara hote to kya hota?


Bacha:BUS DRIVER.! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

who is brilliant an engineer or a doctor ??

who is brilliant an engineer or a doctor ??

7 Engineers and 7 Doctors are going from PUNE to
Mumbai. So they both gather at Pune Station. Both
groups are desperately trying to prove their
superiority.

SCENE 1 (PUNE- MUMBAI) :

7 engineers take only 1 Ticket and 7 doctors buy all 7
tickets.. Doctors are desperately waiting for TC to
come...... When TC arrives, All 7 Engineers get in one
toilet SO when TC knocks , one hand come out with the
ticket and the TC goes away....Doctors say "Dekh
lenge"




SCENE 2 (MUMBAI - LONAVALA) :

Doctors decided, "this time we will prove that we too
are equally SHAANE"....All 7 Doctors take 1 Ticket
Engineers don't buy any ticket at all!!!!!..TC
arrives....
ALL DOCTORS IN ONE TOILET.ALL ENGINEERS IN THE
OPPOSITE ONE..
One engineer gets out and knocks the door of Doctors
toilet, One hand comes with the tickets, he takes the
ticket and comes in engg Bathroom...

The Mafia Godfather & The deaf bookkeeper

Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has stolen ten million bucks; his bookkeeper is deaf.

It was considered an occupational benefit, and the reason he got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not be able to hear anything that he'd ever have to testify about in court.

When the Godfather goes to shakedown the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million bucks, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.

The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the 10 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the 10 million bucks is hidden. The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."

The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about." That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple, readies it, and says: "Ask him again!"

The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!"

The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!"

The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?"

The attorney replies: "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."

A unexpected reply

A unexpected reply
Mine 5 year old nephew sung a song “Dil na diya dil na niya to bolo na bolo kya kiya.”

I liked the song in his sweet voice and asked him again and again to sing that. After singing it once or two times the unexpected reply came.

“Tun….Tun….Tun….yaad kyon nahi rakhta.(why don’t you remember)”

Jaago Aashiq Jaago

Kabhi yeh mat socho k tumhari GF ne tumhe
Kitna romentic msg bhejaa hai.
Hamesha yeh socho k use kisne bheja hoga?
Jaago Aashiq Jaago

Useful facts about men Part-2

15. If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

16. If you're dating a man who you think might be "Mr. Right," if he a) got older, b) got a new job, or c) visited a psychiatrist, you are in for a nasty surprise. The cocoon-to-butterfly theory only works on cocoons and butterflies.

17. No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.

18. When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.

19. When four or more women get together, they talk about men.

20. Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.

21. Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"

22. If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget... he didn't lose your number... he didn't die. He just didn't want to call you.

23. Men hate to lose.

24. Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. "Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, "I love you... I want to marry you... I want to have your children." Sometimes they leave skid marks.

25. Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.

26. Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause - you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

27. Men forget everything - immediately; women remember everything -forever.

28. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened

Useful facts about men Part-1

1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.

2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

3. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

4. Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.

5. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.

6. Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.

7. All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.

8. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

9. All men hate to hear "We need to talk about our relationship." These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwartzkopf.

10. Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.

11. Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.

12. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.

13. Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo."

14. Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines

If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines
UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on ...

Mac Airlines
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Linux Air
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plan leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

Tajmahal ki imarat her aashiq ko mohobat ki

Tajmahal ki imarat her aashiq ko mohobat ki

misal nazar aati hai.

Main kis kis k liyae taj banwaun muze toher larki

mai mumtaz nazar aati hai

True Bravery is..........

True Bravery is.............................


To arrivehome late at night fully drunk,


Mom waiting with zharu[mop] and u ask---


"Hi mom abhi tak safai kar rahi ho"

why do the bride and groom exchange

why do the bride and groom exchange

Varmala during marriage?????????


To tell each other Effectionately,

Sweetheart


!!!!!!!!!!!!!_ YOU R DEAD_ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yaar tu office mai

Sonu---- yaar tu office mai to saer banta hai, ghar mai kya ho jata hai.

monu---- saer to ghar mai bhi hota hun ,,

bas waha mere uper durga maa swar ho jati hai...........

A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee....

A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee....

On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone:
"Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!"

The voice from the other side responded:
"You fool; you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"

"No" replied the trainee.

"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"

The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?"

"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.

"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put the phone down....

aunti mom ne 1 catori

bacha- aunti mom ne 1 catori chini manwai hai.....

aunti- acha or kya kaha hai????

bacha-or kaha hai wo kanjus na de to Sharma aunti se mangna....